When Does Love Bloom?

You look up to the sky and see countless stars, each one connected to another. A pair, a couple, a team. Suddenly, one catches your eye. In a sea of shining couples, this star stands alone.

It seems humorous that I’m speaking on this having yet to even reach 25, but it’s true. Why was everyone constantly coupled up with a boyfriend, a talking stage, or a situationship at 18-21? I was curious. Why is it that some stars gravitate so easily to one another while some have to be patient?

I crafted a timeline in my head. While it was not an active goal in my life, I deduced that I had to have my first boyfriend by 25, max. It seemed like I needed to do so, based on what I saw from others. Having little to no experience with boys did not make this better.

He has to be tall, smart (doing something in STEM since I’m a humanities girl), sporty, funny, not too nerdy, must have his driving license since I have mine, a year older - oh, and perfect. I kept wondering where he was and it seemed perfectly rational to want someone like that, but as I approached the age that I set for myself, he was nowhere to be found.

I turned 22. I stopped thinking about my timeline. If a star drifted by, it’s okay if it didn’t connect with mine.

Until one day, it did. A star finally connected. Our first date didn’t feel like a first date, just 2 old friends reconnecting. We talked and talked and talked, and that was the start. It made me feel like all my delusions were coming true and my checklist was finally getting ticked off.

I then found myself wondering. Who formulated this timeline? The timeline that I was worried I wouldn’t reach. There’s no way everyone got into a relationship by the time they were 25, so who came up with this rule?

No one! There wasn't a single soul that I personally know of who had imposed upon me the idea that I needed a boyfriend to subsequently get married by a certain age.

So why do we, as a collective, feel the pressure to do so?

As the root of many contemporary issues, we can clearly blame social media. It feels so natural to scroll through Instagram or Tiktok and find new soft launches every month or so. Another group that I believe those who are a little older can attest to are the people around us. Everyone’s always asking “when is it your turn?”. These questions prompted and urged us to create a non-existent timeline/deadline in our heads.

Furthermore, being a hopeless romantic definitely set my timeline back. I always wanted the best but got the ick really quickly.

Now, I’m glad I didn’t listen to the people who told me I was being insanely delusional. I’m glad I didn’t settle. I’m glad I was stingy with my time and energy.

Delusion can become your reality, and in an insane way, I think the ones that didn’t connect with us, essentially helped us. You meet people that do not fit your standards and you gain clarity on what you shouldn't entertain in the long run. Some come and some go, but isn’t that the point of it all?

For those who are single and reading this, meeting my partner made me realise that we will never know nor be able to anticipate when love will bloom for us. However, when it does, (as cliche as it sounds) it will bloom in the most unexpected way.

The pursuit of romantic relationships seems important, but I disagree that its priority should be placed at the top of your list. There’s so much you have to accomplish, see, and experience. Invest in your friendships, your platonic relationships, your heart, mind, and soul. Along the way, if someone bright shoots by, fate will connect you together. There is no timeline. Age is simply an illusion. Love does not stop coming to you just because you’ve reached 27 and it’s too late to meet your love.

Even if your star is standing alone right now, it's shining as bright as the others. It will continue to do so, so long as you love it.