Am I The Main Character?

Getting Diagnosed

“You have main character syndrome.”

Hearing this, you may be tempted to burst into tears, or throw something breakable at a wall. Being overly dramatic is a symptom of your condition, after all. But being diagnosed with Main Character Syndrome is not the end of the world.

It’s not a fatal condition. In fact, there’s some positive side effects, though the negative symptoms can be serious: an uncontrollable urge to make everything about you, delusion and a loss of friends.

Diagnosis isn’t so easy, either. No doctor’s offices, blood tests or X-Rays. In fact, many people who suffer from the condition are completely unaware of it.

TikTok Therapy: What is Main Character Syndrome?

If you’re the type to point the finger at someone while calling them a lovebombing, narcissistic gaslighter while using your other hand to scroll through your TikTok feed, you might be familiar with the term already.

Considering the internet’s love for pseudo-psychological language, Main Character Syndrome has gotten many online armchair psychologists on the edge of their armchairs. All this to say, Main Character Syndrome is not an actual medical diagnosis.

Cleveland Clinic (I promise it’s not an actual medical diagnosis) defines it as “a series of behaviours in which you see yourself as the main character in the story of your life. You are the protagonist and everyone else is often a sidekick or a villain.”

I can’t help but think of Carrie Bradshaw, iconic sufferer of Main Character Syndrome, from the show Sex and The City. The entirety of New York City revolves around her, with everyone on the Upper East Side either being a potential suitor, someone who spends all their time plotting her demise, or a friend who she can offload all of her complaints onto. Being the main character, she has a glamorous, interesting life that is all about her, with everyone fading into the background as extras or, if they’re lucky, B-plot characters. Who wouldn’t want to live like her?

Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and The City (1998)

In fact, there are tons of people online asking you to willingly induce Main Character Syndrome so you can live like Carrie. A simple YouTube search yielded video titles like “how to be the main character: life-changing tips to radiate confidence and romanticize your life!” and “life is a movie & you’re the STAR so ACT like it | the ultimate guide to being the main character”. The people who make these videos have the conviction of university professors (if only I could take their module!) because they reason that having Main Character Syndrome prompts you to take agency.

Some people try and induce Main Character Syndrome by listening to “subliminals”,

videos embedded with messages at low volumes that are meant to “enter our subconscious mind and biohack it to get a person's desired result”, as Ziba Mahdi writes for The Daily Star.

YouTube subliminal videos

When you start funnelling subliminal messaging into your ears while you sleep in hopes that you’ll wake up with a new lease on life, you might have gone too far. However, I think videos like these highlight a strong desire to induce Main Character Syndrome, and with reason. Who wouldn’t want to rewrite the script and take control of the narrative of their life? When managed well, Main Character Syndrome can empower you to be confident, and try new things. It puts a rosy tint on what could otherwise be a sepia-toned life.

However, there are negative side effects, too. When you’re the most important person in the room, everything becomes about you. Main Character Syndrome is not just about pretending your life is a 5-stars-on-Letterboxd-film. Without self-regulation, you become self-centred and selfish. Anna Gotlib writes for Aeon: “in the narrowly circumscribed world of main characters, the rest of us are merely the insignificant ghosts who happen to intrude on their spaces. Akin to chess pieces, or perhaps to animatronic figures, we have agency only in the development of the MC’s story.”

Seeking Treatment

So, what’s next? Rehab? Prescriptions? Unless you want to ask the pharmacist for a healthy dose of reality (inconveniencing people with unfunny jokes is another negative symptom), the key is perspective.

Try believing me when I say: Not everything is about you. You’re not Carrie Bradshaw. You’re not Belly Conklin. You’re not even Mickey Mouse. He had a beautiful friend group, a long-term girlfriend and the ownership of a clubhouse. How many of you can say the same?

This isn’t to say you should take a backseat to your own life. If looking at yourself as part of the exciting adventure that is life empowers you, do it. But don’t reduce your perspective of life to a pinprick. Life is not just about you.

On the topic of New York City and how the sheer population density forces you to capture scenes of other people’s lives, comedian Brennan Lee Mulligan said: “It is good for you to be forcibly ejected from the story you are constantly telling yourself about your own life. The fact that you are very much not the main character, like, you might be shoulder to shoulder with someone (and) you’re like: today is really about them.”

Carrie Bradshaw might disagree, but I believe a perspective like this could be the antidote to managing the negative side-effects of Main Character Syndrome.

Living With Main Character Syndrome

Like I said, Main Character Syndrome is not fatal: if managed correctly. We all act a little self-centred sometimes, and the self-confidence and agency caused by Main Character Syndrome can help you. Still, there’s a healthy middle ground between caring about yourself and having an ego so big it gains a gravitational pull and the world starts to revolve around you.

Instead of thinking of yourself as the main character surrounded by sidekicks played by no-name C-listers, think of life as a film with a huge ensemble cast. Everyone has complex and interesting lives, including you. I would give that movie 5 stars on Letterboxd.

So the next time you feel a flare of symptoms, go on a walk and be nosy. Watch the rest of the cast live out their complex storylines. You might even touch some grass while you’re out there.

There’s an art in finding the balance between appreciating the beauty of your life and finding your courage through that, and acting like everyone around you is a prop in your one man show. Find the balance.